Putting the X in X-mas

X as in the unknown element.

X as in I-will-not-partake-of-that.

X as in putting the heX on SAD-foods during the yuletide season.

If Christmas is your sacred or beloved holiday, this post may not be for you.

It is for the disenchanted.

X as in I-will-not-partake-of-that

While you’re renovating your life with this paleo thing, why not renovate your relationship to Christmas, too?

Christmas

Here’s a seasonal hymn:

The time of year when the alcoholics congregate to inflict their dysfunctions on the succeeding generations;

And financial stress wrecks its meticulous havoc, up to and including when the credit card bills roll in January;

And the womenfolk get ground into a powder trying to feed, placate, ameliorate and gift everybody;

Hosanna!

Amen.

Giving up Christmas isn’t for wimps…

When I say ‘I gave up Christmas’ I usually get one of 3 responses:

  1. Confusion, as if I’ve said I’ve decided not to have a face anymore;
  2. Hostility, kind of a how-dare-you-not-suffer-along-with-the-rest-of-us vibe; or
  3. Jealousy, one woman told me wistfully You are so lucky!;

You could be as lucky.

The first time I tried to give up Christmas I made it all the way to December 23rd before I caved. I suddenly really got what it would mean to have nothing to offer on Christmas day, not even a well-formulated explanation for my giftlessness.

So I grabbed my toddler and we headed to Walmart. This was especially bad because it was that toddler’s 2nd birthday. Which she spent with her short-tempered mother in Walmart buying purposeless crap.

As an aside, we ended up in an epic line-up for the Walmart bathroom that day. My toddler had this cute overgeneralization back then, in which she called everything covered by underpants ‘bum’. I hadn’t yet got around to correcting her, and even in the moment I thought it totally served me right when we finally wedged ourselves into a stall and she said, in her biggest toddler voice: Mum! Why is your bum so hairy?

Victory

I kept at it, and six years ago I succeeded.

I no longer observe Christmas in any way.

I have absolutely not one speck of regret.

Since giving up Christmas, I’ve continued to think critically about what is important to me. I’ve tried to be intentional about what I include in my life.

Which in time led me to give up grains & legumes and launch this crazy paleo experiment.

But maybe you love Christmas. Or you are still weaning yourself off the good cheer. Putting the X in X-mas can also be about maintaining your Paleo Orthodoxy over the holiday season.

Stay tuned for that in part 2, tomorrow.

3 thoughts on “Putting the X in X-mas

  1. I loved the poem and enjoyed having a good laugh at 7:30am in the morning while I was having my tea in bed….nothing like a good spontaneous laugh in the morning. I agree with your perspective and having grown up with out Xmas for 18 years of my life…I have to say…I do like the Xmas lights …even if BC Hydro benefits. Keep up the awesome writing Petra!

  2. Pingback: Putting the X in X-mas: Maintaining your Paleo Orthodoxy | petra8paleo

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