Does a post have value if nobody reads it?
Does its value increase if more people like it?
If reality is socially constructed then does a blog post become more real the more engagement it gets?
I write because I am compelled to write.
Because I love to write.
Because it gets me totally high. And I am human, and humans love to alter their consciousness.
When I started this blog 2 months ago, it was almost spasmodic. I was sitting in a chair reading a novel and I leapt out of my chair, actually. I had to start a blog. I’d just heard about wordpress at a conference the day before.
I wrote my first post as soon as I figured out how to create a profile. I didn’t know how to attach a photo so it still has none.
My sister read that post. And a couple of my girlfriends. I think.
But I kept blogging and amazingly, one day I got a follower that I didn’t even know.
At first I was 95% intrinsically motivated to write. It got me so high to write and publish a post I’d be energetically vibrating. Sometimes I couldn’t sleep at night I was so animated.
A couple more people found my blog. I got some likes. Never too many but enough that I’d notice that they got me high too.
I was still 95% intrinsically motivated, but suddenly I found I was also 30% extrinsically motivated. I was checking my metrics. More than once a day. Waiting for the next follow. Living for the next like.
Which felt paradoxical.
How can I be intrinsically and extrinsically motivated at the same time?
Intrinsic motivation is purer, right? So, was my inspiration getting sullied by a sudden need for social approbation?
Ha! (I find it’s always good to bust out & laugh when I start dwelling on pretentious, self-referencing questions).
After my laugh, I realized maybe the blog pie is just bigger than I thought it was. Maybe the blog pie is variable in its dimensions.
Right now, for me, it’s running about 125%.
And more pie is better, right?